Setting the Bar
by shadowfire125
Summary: Despite all airs and appearances, Perry and Doofenshmirtz's relationship has never been anything but unconventional. Human!Perry AU
1. Chapter 1

_I'm thinking about writing a second chapter in Perry's POV. Thoughts? _

* * *

The first time Heinz Doofenshmirtz met Perry the Platypus, it was a process, and it didn't start with the first time they saw each other face-to-face.

It started with a shopping trip.

Doofenshmirtz was examining some electronics in a window, a plastic bag hanging from his arm, when he suddenly felt like he was being watched. He whipped around, examining the street suspiciously, but there were only a couple of pedestrians, each wrapped up in their own lives. Sighing, he told himself he was just being paranoid, and continued about his business.

But the feeling persisted, for about a week. It wasn't all the time, just every now and then, usually when he was out and about, either gathering gadgets or grocery shopping. He began to get a bit twitchy, sometimes literally jumping at his own shadow. Every now and then he would think he saw something, but whatever sign he'd spotted was gone before he could get a proper look at it.

It wasn't that Doofenshmirtz wasn't used to being under surveillance. He'd been on the OWCA's radar for some time now. It was just… the OWCA often sent agents his way, but usually a different one each time, and Heinz was usually almost immediately aware of who they were and how they were trying to thwart him. He often suspected they just sent whoever was free at the moment, like he wasn't much of a threat. That hurt a bit, but at least they were actually aware of his actions as a villain.

This time was different. He knew he was being watched, sized up. This must be a new agent, and he or she was taking their time. The waiting was the worst part, and Doofenshmirtz couldn't actually force the agent into action because he was nowhere near completing his latest inator.

It was one afternoon when he was just about to quit on the most recent design that there was a knock at the door. Grumbling, he made his way across the lab and yanked open the door. "What?" he snapped at the young man standing in the hallway.

The stranger was maybe a little over five feet tall. He had neatly-combed teal hair under a brown fedora that looked brand-new. There was an appalling yellow plaid tie clipped to his crisp white button-down shirt, which had the sleeves rolled up over his elbows. His dark eyes were seemingly impassive, but Heinz had a feeling that the kid was taking in and effortlessly memorizing every last detail, and he was suddenly positive that these were the same eyes that had been tracking him all week.

They stared at each other for a moment, then the young man politely tipped his hat and handed Doofenshmirtz a card. It read:

_Secret Agent Perry the Platypus  
_"_Agent P"  
OWCA_

After Doofenshmirtz had stared blankly at it for a moment, his mouth blurted without permission, "Aren't you a little short to be a secret agent?"

Perry's eyebrows flattened into an unamused line. Apparently Heinz had struck a nerve. Still, it was true. Even with Heinz's slouch, the agent didn't even make it to his chin.

He cleared his throat. "So, uh, are you supposed to be my nemesis?"

Perry nodded.

Well. At least they were off to a good start, then. He could see Perry filing away the height remark somewhere, only letting it slide for now. "Uh, I'm not really up to anything today, so…"

Perry nodded again, and stuck out his hand.

"You- you wanted to _introduce_ yourself? That's… novel." Doofenshmirtz shook the agent's hand anyway. "Nice to meet you, Perry the Platypus."

Perry smiled, tipped his hat once more, and strolled off down the hallway, hands in his pockets.

Doofenshmirtz stood in the doorway for a long time after the elevator doors had slid shut, card still in his hand, wondering what in the hell had just happened.

At the time, he had thought it was a rather anticlimactic way to meet your nemesis. Years later, however, he realized that had their meeting gone any differently, their wonderful animosity just wouldn't have been the same.


	2. Chapter 2

_Not really sure about how this one turned out. I might actually keep continuing it in another story, if I can figure out what to write, and how to write it, because I have a few rather vague follow-up headcanons.  
_

_**Edit:** If you started following this story because I said that I may follow it up, don't expect a whole lot. This will remain a two-shot, and if I write more along this vein, it will be in a separate story. I dunno if this site will notify followers of this update, but I guess this is the only way to let you know. I really appreciate that you enjoy my work enough to find out if I write more!  
_

* * *

The first time Perry Fletcher, aka Agent Perry the Platypus, met Heinz Doofenshmirtz, it was a process, and it didn't start with the first time they saw each other face-to-face.

It started with a transfer.

He had just made it into the England branch of the OWCA, hadn't even had his first mission yet, when his uncle decided to move to the States. Perry was loath to leave his family behind (or rather, to let his family leave him behind). And that was how he ended up in the Tri-State branch.

Doofenshmirtz was his very first mission as a secret agent. An assigned nemesis. According to Major Monogram, Heinz Doofenshmirtz was a bad apple through-and-through, but after looking through his new nemesis' file, Perry had his doubts about that. The so-called evil scientist had a string of 'inators' that were mostly harmless, bordering on the ridiculous.

He decided that some research was in order.

Perry was meticulous in all his endeavors. He disliked jumping into something without knowing the exact situation, and he especially disliked having only one source for his information. Finding things out first-hand was always best. His mother used to say that he should be an investigative reporter. Perry had liked the idea at the time, but things have a tendency to change. At least he got to wear a fedora either way.

He began to tail Doofenshmirtz, trying to figure out what he was like – how he interacted with people, how sinister his intentions really were. The answer was rather bumbling, dreadfully clueless, often petty, and anything but malignant. And, Perry realized with a pang of sympathy, secretly very lonely.

Still, he decided it was best to be wary. This was only in his normal day-to-day routine. He could be very different while going through with his evil schemes. It was unwise to underestimate anyone, and there was a reason this man was on the OWCA's villain list. People had hidden depths, and Perry was still inexperienced. He didn't want to be caught off guard just because this man didn't seem entirely like a proper villain.

He mulled it over as he sat behind the day's newspaper in a local coffee shop, watching Doofenshmirtz over the top of it. The doctor stiffened and looked around, and Perry snapped the paper back up. According to the records, Doofenshmirtz had only been a registered villain for a few years, and hadn't accomplished anything of notable evil in all that time. Perhaps it was possible to keep it that way with minimal violence. Perry smiled slightly as an idea formed. After all, why make a true enemy if you didn't have to?

Later that afternoon, he rode an elevator to the top floor of the strangest skyscraper in the city. The soles of his practical but classy shoes clicked softly on the tiles of the long hallway, squeaking slightly when he stopped. He straightened his hat, adjusted his tie, took a deep breath, and knocked on Doofenshmirtz's door.


End file.
